Director's Statement
A hole in your heart
you go into a room, Now you are there again, you repeat yourself,
you repeat yourself to render harmless what cannot be obliterated
when you close your eyes, you once slept in this room, you were ill and
it was cold, you had a high fever and there was no hot water, now another one is lying in your bed,
but he resembles you, it is a kind of exorcism, you go into an apartment and you stay there seventeen days and you let all the humiliation and all the violence live in that apartment and then you leave and lock the door and the humiliation and the violence and bits of meat and the tranquilizers and shopping carts are locked inside and can't come out, you've stolen half the film and the other half came to you like small seeds that lay in small, small canoes that floated forward on the subterranean river that flows under your bed, they slid into your ears as you slept and exploded inside of you, you wrote the screenplay on three different machines: a Powerbook G4, a Facit Privat (a relic of the golden years of Swedish industrialism) , and a Erika Naumann. The latter is a pitch black typewriter that was constructed in Germany when Adolf Hitler was in power. The past never ends, we are all products of our history. The film is about the past never ending and you going in to the same apartment again and again and you trying, in every way you can imagine, to get closer to another person and that other person is you. No, she is not you and that's not what the film is about, it's not your job to resolve, Besides: film is not a diagnosis, it is a symptom. There were nine of you in the apartment, Everyone that was there received a red mattress and a rose wreath, Perhaps that's what the film is: a mattress and a rose wreath? No, when you made Fucking Åmål and Together, you wanted to find a way home, you thought a reconciliation was possible, after Lilya 4-ever and Terrorists you don't think there are safe homes anymore. The cover you sleep under is thin and transparent, and from Lextorpsvägen 23 it is not far to the Big Brother house, and from Action man and Barbie it is not
far to www.gagfactor.com - but suddenly Christina Aguilera appears in a painting by Hieronymus Bosch and sings that she'll never give up and those words spin around your head during the whole shoot and you believe she's singing this because she (or God or someone else) doesn't want you to give up either. You will make several films, Even though you injure yourself everytime. The last time you ran into a pole and had a concussion, this time you fell off a bicycle and sprained your neck and cracked a rib, but you can't let it go, it is probably a kind of illness. When you were little you dreamt of being a heart surgeron. You dissected dead animals at dusk, now you dream other dreams. you stick your finger in other wounds, You resemble Doubting Thomas, your beliefs are weak, you must touch, you must poke, you narrow your eyes to crochet hooks and put them down in the well. The well is a young woman's vagina stretched to breaking point by some gynaecological instrument. She lies apathetically on a glass coffe table, She is eighteen years old, she is from the Czech Republic, the man stretching her vagina is from the US, he is a successful porno film producer, much like Rickard wishes he was. The scene is taken from a normal porno film that you can rent och buy in a normal video shop. (you recount this because you want us to talk of the same things when we talk of pornography). The man tells the woman to put her finger in her mouth and suck on it like a little baby. He tells her to look into the camera and wave and say hi mom, hi dad. She does as she is told and even squeezes out a little smile. Then the man pees in her vagina, now she's no longer smiling. He fills her up with piss, her vagina looks like a well. Furthest down in the well is a secret that can't be seen unless you narrow your eyes to crochet hooks. The American man puts his penis in the Czech woman's anal opening and fucks her so that the piss in her vagina splashes everywhere. And now you expose the hole, you expose the wound so that everyone can look in, does anyone see the secret at the bottom of the well? Now you lock the door and walk away and will never come back, you build a nest in a clothes dryer. One day you will come back.
With best regards,
Sakul Nossydoom
p.s. Long before the film premiered it was criticized by the "porn star" Ingrid Swede. She was angry because your film attacked the porno industry and that it maintained that everyone in the
porno industry was damaged. You thought her criticism was a little bizarre as she hadn't seen the film. (You hadn't either; at this time the shoot wasn't even terminated.) But you would like to take the opportunity to answer her criticism: The film is an attack, but its more than just an attack, it is also a defence. (Yes, it is possible to attack and defend at the same time.) And it is the story of four wonderful people, and you love them more than anyone will ever understand.