'Five Years Later' by Peter Svensson, Parts 1 & 2.

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'Five Years Later' by Peter Svensson, Parts 1 & 2.

Postby snaps » Wed Jan 25, 2012 7:33 pm

[Moderator Note by snaps. This is pretty much the ‘mother’ of all FA/SML fan-fiction - written by Peter Svensson and posted in 2002. At 5,152 words, it was highly acclaimed in its day by other Forum members. Peter was very active in forum and website circles. Despite many requests for a continuation, that never materialised. Peter admitted in 2003 to running out interest and enthusiasm to continue. Nonethless, his work provided a key exemplar to others who followed in his trailblazing work. He always held out an open invitation to others to continue the stopry. Maybe this is your chance? Enjoy.]

PART ONE

[PROLOG]

Agnes lives in Stockholm together with her new girlfriend Hanna. Agnes is studying at the university. She met Hanna at school. Elin lives in Karlstad (not so far away from Åmål) and works as a nurse at a hospital. She is bisexual and can't decide if she wants to live with a boy or a girl. For the moment she lives togehter with a boy, Michael, in a small apartment. But Elin is bored, and she is not in love with Michael anymore. She keeps thinking about the year way back when she and Agnes were lovers. It was the best time of her life. But then Elin made a big mistake and hurt Agnes really bad. Agnes got very sad, she said goodbye to her parents and moved to Stockholm all by herself, only 17 years old. She just couldn't stand fucking Åmål any longer. She and Elin hasn't talked to each other since then.

[STORY]

Elin decided that she must meet Agnes again. She very much regretted that she hurt Agnes feelings way back then and wanted to tell her that she is still in love with her. But she didn't know how. Then one day, Elin met Agnes' father Olof in the supermarket in Karlstad. Olof, Karin and Oskar had moved away from Åmål to Karlstad shortly after Agnes left for Stockholm. They all felt they needed a new environment. Elin asked Olof to give her Agnes' phone number but he couldn't do that. Agnes had told her parents that she never wanted to see Elin again. Elin almost started to cry and Olof felt so sorry for her that he decided to give Agnes' address to Elin. "You can always write to her," he said.

But Elin couldn't write. She tried over and over again, but she couldn't express herself. That's when she decided that she had to travel to Stockholm and meet Agnes eye to eye. After all, she did have Agnes' address now. Elin bought a train ticket to Stockholm and left one friday morning in early September without saying a word to her boyfriend Michael.

Agnes lived in a small apartment at Hornstull in southern Stockholm. Elin was quite nervous. She had never been to Stockholm before, but she found her way to Hornstull by taking the underground from the central station. It was just a short ride. It was in the middle of the day and Elin suspected that Agnes would not be at home. She didn't knew what Agnes did for a living, but she thought she was studying. Agnes had always loved studying. Elin found the right address, walked up to the apartment building and tried to open the front door. But it was locked. And of course Elin didn't have the code.

Elin searched through the names at the sign beside the house telephone. She got a warm feeling inside her stomach when she found what she was looking for! 'Agnes Ahlberg', 3rd floor! Elin got all exhilirated but still hesitated for a moment. It was a long time since she last saw Agnes. Probably she has changed a lot during these years, Elin thought. Finally she pressed the button next to Agnes name on the house telephone. Nothing happened. She pressed the button again and waited for a minute. Nothing. Elin pressed the button for the third time and then waited for another minute. Still nothing happened.

With a feeling of disappointment Elin realised that Agnes was not at home. She is probably at school, or at work or something, Elin reasoned. What shall I do now, Elin wondered. She decided to sit down and wait. But she didn't have a watch, so she didn't knew what time it was. She remembered that time was about 12.00 when she arrived at the central station and she estimated that about one hour had passed since then. That means time is maybe 13.00 now, Elin thought.

For a while Elin sat there on the front step of the building waiting. But soon she ran out of patience. She decided to go for a walk. As she didn't know Stockholm very well she chose direction by random and just started to walk. She soon realised that she was heading for a place called Zinkensdamm and after a while she found her way down to a beautiful park called Tantolunden. Elin didn't expect to find such a big park in the center of Stockholm. She thought it was very nice and walked around in the park for a while, thinking about her life.

A feeling of hesitation was slowly creeping up on her. Maybe she was doing something wrong? Maybe Agnes would be very upset when she showed up just like that, without previous notice. The last thing Elin wanted was for Agnes to be upset. She had hurt Agnes enough already. Elin felt very sad when she walked through the park and thought about Agnes and the big mistake she made that day, four years ago. It seemed so long ago, but still Elin remembered it vividly.

Elin almost decided to take the train back to Karlstad again, without making another attempt to contact Agnes. It wasn't meant to be, she reasoned. The door was locked and no one was home. It was like a sign from God. Elin should go back home again, to Michael. He's the one who loves her, not Agnes. Elin should be happy to have a nice boyfriend like Michael and be at home together with him, instead of making crazy trips to Stockholm like this. Elin started to feel a bit hungry. She walked back through the park in the same direction where she had come from. She found a café and bought herself a big sandwich and a large glass of hot chocolate milk. It reminded Elin of the first glass of O'boy she shared with Agnes. She remembered Agnes beautiful smile and couldn't help but smile herself.

Thinking about Agnes and their time together made Elin feel happy again. The sandwich and the chocolate milk also helped raising her spirits. She had been so nervous earlier that morning that she hadn't had any breakfast at all, and on the train she had only managed to eat one banana. Now, with some food in her stomach, she felt much better. And she decided that she wouldn't waste this opportunity by going back to Karlstad again. She must see Agnes first, and tell her that she is still in love with her, no matter what.

Elin asked the girl in the café what time it was. "Almost three o'clock," came the reply. Wow, Elin thought. That means I must have been walking around for almost two hours. Maybe Agnes is back from school now, she thought. Or maybe not. Maybe she was working some place else and didn't come home until the evening. Anyway, Elin decided to walk back to where Agnes lived. It was quite a warm and sunny day for being September in Sweden and Elin enjoyed her walk back through the streets.

Elin walked up to the apartment building again and stopped. She felt the front door. It was still locked of course. She took another look at the sign on the wall beside the door. 'Agnes Ahlberg', 3rd floor. Yes, it was true! Once again, Elin got that nice warm feeling inside. She hesitated for a while, then took a deep breath and was just about to press the button on the house telephone next to Agnes' name when she saw someone coming down the stairs inside the house. Elin quickly took a step back as the front door opened and an old man with a dog came walking out. He noticed Elin and held up the door for her.

"Are you going in?" he asked.

"Ehmmm... yes... yes, I am," Elin replied after a moment of hesitation.

"Are you going to visit someone?" he wondered.

"Yes, I'm visiting a friend," Elin replied.

"And who might that be?" the man asked.

"Eehhh... her name is Agnes," Elin said and nervously looked down on her feets.

"Oh, Agnes. That's a nice girl. Hanna is a nice girl too," the man said and left with his dog.

Elin managed to catch the door just as it was about to close. What did he say? What did the man say? "Hanna is a nice girl too,"? Who is Hanna? Elin turned around after the man but he had already reached the other side of the street. Elin opened her mouth, as if to say something, but it was too late. He wouldn't hear her, and she didn't want to raise her voice.

Hesitantly, Elin walked inside the house while the front door closed behind her. She started walking up the stairs, while thoughts were flying around in her head. Who is Hanna? Has she something to do with Agnes? Why did the man mention Hanna when Elin talked about Agnes? Then the thought struck Elin as lightning from a clear blue sky. Maybe Hanna is Agnes new girlfriend!! Elin hadn't even thought about that possibility before. She had been so occupied with her own feelings that she didn't even consider the possibility that Agnes might have found a new girlfriend. Elin remembered that day, way back, when she had told Agnes that if she moved to Stockholm she would probably find lots of girls. Maybe it was true.

Elin reached the third floor and found the door to Agnes apartment. There was a big sign on the mail drop with the name 'Agnes Ahlberg', but underneath it there was an additional, smaller, sign on a white sticker. It read 'Hanna Ship'. Who the hell was Hanna Ship? Elin could sense that her worst fears were through. Hanna Ship must be Agnes' new girlfriend. Or maybe Hanna is just her roommate... yeah, right. Very likely. A huge feeling of disappointment and sadness came over Elin as she stood there in front of the door. Of course Agnes had found someone else. How could I be so stupid, Elin wondered. Who am I to intrude on her life like this.

Elin got so upset that she didn't hear the front door of the building open and close again. She also didn't hear someone walking up the stairs. Elin just stood there in front of Agnes' door with millions of thoughts running around in her head. She decided that she had to leave. This is not the way to do it, Elin thought. Maybe I should have written Agnes a letter instead. I definitely can't do this. Suddenly, Elin was interrupted in her thoughts buy a voice behind her.

"Hello... what are you doing?"

Elin quickly turned around. In front of her stood a pretty girl, about the same age and height as Elin. She had jet black hair and green eyes. She was carrying a bag of groceries and looked curiously at Elin.

"I'm... eehhh... I was just going to visit someone... but she wasn't home," Elin lied, hoping that the girl would walk away.

"Who were you going to visit?" the girl asked.

"Ehmmm... her name is Agnes," Elin said, since she couldn't come up with another lie quickly enough.

"Are you a friend of hers?" the girl asked curiously.

"Well, yes... sort of," Elin replied. Why couldn't the girl just walk away instead of asking all these questions?

"But why are you standing here then?" the girl said.

"Er... she wasn't at home," Elin lied once again.

"Of course she's at home," the girl said and reached for some keys in her pocket.

Then Elin realized her mistake. The girl in front of her was of course Hanna! Shit, Elin thought. How am I going to get out of this situation? Elin took a step back and Hanna locked up the door. Hanna walked inside, put down the bag of groceries and motioned for Elin to follow her. For a moment Elin thought about just running down the stairs, out of the house and keep running all the way back to Karlstad. Instead, she hesitantly followed Hanna inside.

"Agnes!" called Hanna. "There is someone here to see you!"

Hanna took off her shoes, picked up the bag of groceries and disappeared into the small kitchen to the right. Elin shut the door behind her and didn't know what to do.

"Who is it?" she heard a voice from inside the apartment. Elin immediately recognized the voice. That beautiful voice.

"I don't know," Hanna said. "A friend of yours!"

Elin stood nervously in the hallway, looking inside the apartment where the familiar voice had come from. And suddenly the owner of the voice appeared in front of her. Agnes came out in the hallway, curious about who their guest was. When she saw Elin she came to a dead stop. It was like someone had pushed the freeze button. Elin and Agnes both stood absolutely still, just looking at each other for what seemed like an eternity.


[PART TWO]

The two girls kept staring at each other. Elin was the first one to break the silence.

"Hi..." she said quietly.

"What are you doing here?" came the reply from Agnes after a moment of silence. She didn't sound angry. But she didn't sound very happy either.

"I... I wanted to see you," Elin said nervously.

Silence. Agnes kept staring at Elin with disbelief, as if she couldn't understand what was happening.

"But... how did you find me?" Agnes finally said.

"Your father gave me your address," Elin replied.

Agnes looked at Elin, thoughtfully.

"Well... and now what?" Agnes asked with a not very welcoming attitude.

"I don't know..." Elin replied and swallowed. She looked down on her feets. Damn this was difficult, she thought. I shouldn't have done this. Agnes is not happy to see me. I should go again, she thought.

"Look, I'm sorry," Elin continued, and raised her head again. "It was not right of me to show up like this. I just wanted to see you, that's all... and I wanted you to know that I'm truly sorry for what happened that day and that I didn't mean to hurt you."

Agnes looked with scepticism at Elin, but she didn't say anything. She didn't know what to say, or what to think. She definitely hadn't expected this. She had spent many years trying to forget all about Elin, and now Elin stood here in front of her, just like that. It was too much.

"Well... once again, I'm sorry," Elin said hesitantly. "I will go now."

She looked at Agnes. In her dreams, this was the moment where Agnes would tell her not to go, that she had forgiven her, and that she wanted her to stay. But this was not a dream, it was reality. And Agnes didn't say anything. Elin turned around, opened the door, and took a last look at Agnes who still stood there in the hallway without saying a word. Elin felt very sad and disappointed as she stepped outside and closed the door behind her.

What have I done? Elin thought. What the hell have I done?! I only managed to make Agnes even more upset. Damn, how stupid am I? Why did I come up with this bad idea? This is the worst day of my life, Elin thought as she started walking down the stairs. I might as well kill myself, she thought. She felt like the whole world had fallen apart and she walked like in trance down the stairs. Elin had been dreaming about the moment she would meet Agnes again, what she would say and what she would do. But this was nothing like in her dreams. This was catastrophy. As Elin opened the front door and walked out of the building she met the old man with his dog again. He recognized her and said "Hello". Elin didn't hear him and probably didn't even see him as she walked away from the building, wishing she was someone else. This was like a bad dream and she just wanted to get away from it as soon as possible. She wanted to run away from the bad dream. She started running. With tears in her eyes she ran down the street.

"Elin...!" she heard someone calling for her. At first she didn't react. She just went on, she wanted to run away from it all. She wanted to disappear.

"Elin... wait!" someone called for her again. Elin recognized the voice, but she couldn't believe it. She stopped. Very slowly she turned around, prepared to be disappointed. Maybe I'm hallucinating, she thought. But it was no hallucination. Agnes came running towards her. When Agnes saw that Elin had stopped she slowed down and began to walk.

Agnes walked up to Elin, searching her face. Elin had tears in her eyes.

"Elin..." Agnes said. "Where are you going?"

"I... I don't know," Elin said and shrugged her shoulders. "I'm going to kill myself or something."

"Don't talk like that," Agnes said.

The two girls looked at each other again, in silence. Elin wiped the tears away with her hand.

"I'm sorry," Elin said. "I'm behaving like a real jerk."

"No, you're not," Agnes said. "It's just that I wasn't prepared for this."

"No, I understand," Elin said. "It was a really bad idea to intrude on your life like this. Especially after what I've already done to you."

Agnes looked at Elin. She didn't know what to say or do. It was a weird situation. Although Elin had hurt Agnes' feelings really bad, it was a long time ago and Agnes didn't feel so bad about it any longer. She had grown older and made new experiences. And although she had tried to forget everything about Elin she now realized that she hadn't forgotten anything. She had just managed to hide it somewhere in her head, and now it came back to her.

"Is Hanna your girlfriend?" Elin asked suddenly.

"Yes..." Agnes said after a moment of hesitation. "Why?"

"No... I was just wondering," Elin said and looked down on her feets. "She is pretty."

"Yes, she is," Agnes said. "But I guess you didn't come all this way to see what my girlfriend looks like?"

"Actually I didn't expect to meet your girlfriend," Elin replied and looked at Agnes again. "If I had knew you had a girlfriend I probably wouldn't have come here."

"Are you surprised?" Agnes wondered.

"About what?" Elin replied.

"That I have a girlfriend," Agnes said.

"No, absolutely not. Please don't get me wrong, you are very cute and all that... of course I knew you would have no trouble finding a new girl," Elin explained and continued: "It's more like I was hoping that you wouldn't have a new girlfriend... I mean, I'm happy for you of course, it's just that... never mind."

"What?" Agnes said.

"Well... it's just that... I can't stop thinking about you. That's why I came here," Elin explained.

"And then what...?" Agnes wondered. "Were you expecting me to sit here and wait all by myself and jump into your arms? Just like that? After four years?"

"No!" Elin replied quickly. "It's not like that." But deep inside that's exactly what she had been dreaming about. That Agnes had been longing for her just as much as she had been longing for Agnes. "It wasn't very well thought out. Your father told me to write a letter, but I have never been very good at writing letters..."

"When did you meet my father?" Agnes asked.

"About two weeks ago. At the supermarket," Elin said. "He is very kind, your father. Just as I always remembered him."

"Yes, I guess he is..." Agnes said.

"Agnes... I know it was wrong of me to turn up like this," Elin said. "But since I couldn't write, I thought it would be easier to see you eye to eye. But it isn't. It's damn difficult."

"So you think it's difficult?" Agnes said. "How do you think it feels for me then?"

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry," Elin said. "But I wanted to see you again. I had to do it. I have been thinking about this for the last four years. Ever since that day when..."

"Stop it," Agnes interrupted her and continued: "You know, I don't want to talk about it. I really don't. At least not now. Maybe later."

Elin nodded and looked helplessly at Agnes. What am I supposed to do, she thought.

"We can talk about something else," Agnes said. "Like what you've been up to the last few years."

"Yeah, well... it's not that much to tell," Elin said.

"I'm sure it is," Agnes replied. "But let's go back inside... are you hungry?"

"Well, maybe. But you don't need to..." Elin said.

"We were just going to eat anyway. And we can't stand here," Agnes said.

Elin followed Agnes back to the house and up the stairs to the apartment. Agnes held the door up for Elin. There was an awkward silence between them as Elin went inside and took off her shoes. Agnes shut the door behind her. Elin took a step inside and could see Hanna, in the kitchen to the right, preparing something for dinner. Hanna looked up at her and smiled.

"Agnes," Hanna said. "Aren't you going to introduce us?"

Agnes appeared in the doorway to the kitchen and motioned for Elin to follow her. Hanna wiped her hands with a towel and turned towards them with a smile.

"This is Elin," Agnes said. "And this is my girlfriend Hanna."

Elin could sense a feeling of jealousy as she shook hands with Hanna. Hanna was a very pretty girl with black hair and sparkling green eyes. She smiled at Elin and seemed genuinely happy to have someone visiting them.

"Hi Elin," she said. "It's always nice to meet Agnes friends."

"Hi," Elin replied. Apparently Hanna didn't know much about her. "Nice to meet you too."

"We will have lasagne for dinner," said Hanna. "Vegetarian lasagne, that is. I hope that's OK?"

"Yes," Elin said. "Absolutely."

Agnes, Elin and Hanna sat down at the small table in the kitchen. They shared the lasagne while they talked about life. From Agnes initial reaction when she saw Elin, Hanna immediately understood that Elin and Agnes once had been more than friends. But Hanna was genuinely a very friendly person and also very understanding and discreet. She could sense that Agnes felt uncomfortable with the whole situation, so Hanna didn't ask any silly questions, although she couldn't help but being a little bit suspicious about Elins intentions of visiting Agnes. She listened to Elin and Agnes when they talked about their lifes. Elin told them about her work at the hospital and Agnes told Elin about her studies at the university. Elin mentioned that she lived together with a guy called Michael but she made it quite clear that she didn't want to talk about him. Instead they talked about music and film and they even discussed some politics. The hours went by and suddenly Elin realised that she had to leave.

"What time is it?" Elin asked.

"Five minutes to eight," Hanna said.

"Five minutes to eight!?" Elin repeated. "Damn, I don't remember when the last train to Karlstad leaves."

Agnes immediately went over to her iMac and logged on to the internet. She found the website of SJ, the major rail travel company in Sweden, and searched for Stockholm C - Karlstad C in the timetable.

"Last train to Karlstad leaves at 20.10," she told Elin.

"Shit," Elin said. "That's fifteen minutes from now! Do you think I will make it if I take the underground?"

"That will probably be a little bit tight," Hanna said and looked at Agnes.

"No, you won't make it. Not a chance," Agnes said.

"Damn," Elin said. "I'll have to take a taxi then. Do you have the taxi phone number?"

"Never mind. I'll drive you to the staion," Agnes said.

"Drive me? Do you have a car?" Elin said, surprised.

"No, but I have a motorcycle..." Agnes smiled.

"A motorcycle?!" Elin exclaimed. "Cool! I didn't know you were into motorcycles?"

"Well, I don't think I'm into motorcycles, it's just that I needed a transport when I was working as an assistant to disabled people last summer. A car was too expensive so I bought a motorcycle instead."

"Cool... I don't even have a drivers license," Elin said. "I can't afford it."

"Well... if you really want it, you'll have to sacrifice something else," Agnes said as she went out into the hallway and reached for her black leather jacket.

"Easy for you to say," Elin replied and followed Agnes. "I don't have such good discipline as you."

Agnes pulled out two helmets from a closet and gave one to Elin.

"That's Hannas helmet. You can borrow it," Agnes said. "We need to hurry, if we shall make it to the T-central in time."

Elin put on her shoes and jacket and said goodbye to Hanna, then she and Agnes left. They went down to the garage on the backside of the apartment building, where Agnes' black Ducati 600 was being parked.

"Wow! That's a really cool motorcycle!" Elin said.

"Yeah well, I like it..." Agnes said. "The man who owned it before me had to sell it because he needed money to repair his house. So I got it quite cheap."

Agnes rolled the motorcycle out of the garage, straddled it, and kick-started the engine. Elin thought it looked funny, to see little Agnes on a big motorcycle. But it was also very cool and exciting. Damn, that black leather jacket looks hot on her, Elin thought. Agnes put on her helmet and likewise did Elin. Then Elin jumped up on the motorcycle, on the seat behind Agnes. This is nice, Elin thought, as she put her arms around Agnes and held on. They had less than ten minutes to reach the T-central, so Agnes didn't waste any time. She engaged first gear and away they went.

Agnes drove fast down to Söder Mälarstrand and Elin had to really hold on. Agnes' black Ducati was something completely else than Johan's poor old moped back in Åmål, Elin thought with a smile. She could feel the wind blowing through her thin clothes. It was cold but still she didn't freeze. She had Agnes to hold on to, and she was warm. Agnes found her way round Slussen and up on the bridge, Centralbron, over the water, passing Gamla Stan and Riddarholmen on their way to the T-central. Elin felt a rush of adrenalin. She could feel the speed of the motorcycle as they passed slower cars, she could hear the noise from the engine and she could smell the gasoline fumes. This was wonderful! Riding with Agnes on a motorcycle through central Stockholm in the beautiful September evening! It was an experience full of new sensations for Elin and she didn't want it to stop. She wanted to ride on behind Agnes forever. This was a moment to remember.

They reached the central station with only a few minutes left. Agnes rushed before Elin to help her find the train. They soon spotted the right platform and went over there. The train was just about to leave.

"We made it," Agnes said with a smile as she turned to Elin.

"Thanks," Elin said and gave Agnes a hug. "You're great!"

The two girls looked embarrased at each other for a moment.

"You know, I don't wanna go," Elin said.

"What do you mean?" Agnes wondered.

"I want to be here with you," Elin said. "I want to ride with you on your motorcycle."

"Elin... don't talk like that," Agnes said. "I have a new life. I live with Hanna now. It was a good thing that we could meet again, but this really doesn't change anything. You should go on and live your life."

"But I don't have a life," Elin said.

"Of course you have," Agnes said. "You even have a boyfriend waiting for you at home."

"Michael is not waiting for me," Elin said. "He doesn't care about me. The only thing he cares about is whether Färjestad will be ice hockey champions or not. I'm sick and tired of it."

"But still... you have your work, and your friends, and your family," Agnes said. "You should be with them."

"I want to be with you," Elin said quietly.

Agnes noticed that the train guard was about to close the doors. The train was going to leave any moment now.

"Elin... you must go," Agnes said and motioned for Elin to step up on the train. Elin did step up but she stood still in the doorway and looked at Agnes.

"Agnes, can I call you?" Elin wondered.

"I don't know..." Agnes said. "What's the idea?"

"But I can't leave it like this," Elin said. "I need to talk to you some more."

"You can write a letter..." Agnes said.

The train guard approached them.

"The train leaves now," he said. "I must close the door."

Elin looked at the train guard, then she looked at Agnes, as if she couldn't decide what to do. Just as the train guard reached for the door to close it, Elin stopped him and jumped down on the platform again. She gave Agnes a kiss on the lips and then she jumped up on the train again. The guard, somewhat embarrased to have witnessed their kiss, closed the door and mumbled something. Elin ran into the nearest compartment just as the train started rolling. Elin pulled the window down and leaned out.

"I love you Agnes, and if you don't answer my letters I will come back to Stockholm! That's a promise!" Elin said and smiled as she waved goodbye.

Agnes raised her hand and waved as the train with Elin disappeared. She felt confused. Very confused. She thought she had full control over her feelings but when Elin had kissed her she had felt something that she hadn't felt for a long time. Not even together with Hanna. Agnes felt all warm inside, and nervous, like having butterflies in her stomach. What's this supposed to mean, she wondered to herself as she returned to her motorcycle and drove home again.

Later that evening, when Agnes and Hanna lay in the same bed, Hanna asked Agnes to tell her more about Elin.

"Maybe later," Agnes said. "I don't want to talk about it now."

"OK," Hanna said and kissed Agnes on her cheek. "I love you."

"I love you too," Agnes said. But she just couldn't stop thinking about Elin. Her kiss, and that look in her eyes as the train left the station.
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Re: 'Five Years Later' by Peter Svensson, Parts 1 & 2.

Postby DMt. » Thu Jan 26, 2012 3:25 am

High emotional IQ...?
"To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize" - Voltaire
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