'After The O'boy' by Nemo_Me, (Iceland) , 2006, 4247 words.
[Snap’s Mediator Note; A very worthy sequel, in the time following the end of the film. Like many fan-fics it actually ends with the ‘to be continued’ note, like many other fanfics including my own. But it is a complete story in short scenes, and spurs us to think what might have happened next. I believe this was written at a turbulent time in Nemo-Me’s life, and hope that things went on to be resolved. We miss her talent. I have reformatted it to fit php/BB, although text and PDF versions can be found on Ole’s site: http://showmelove.org/index.php?lang_id=en&page_id=82 ]
Agnes and Elin just laid there, in each other arms. Both were too happy to speak. They didn’t really think about anything. What their parents would say, what the kids at school would say or how school would be next day. Nothing of that mattered right now.
“I read the poem you wrote on your computer,” Elin said to break the silence. “It was beautiful.”
”Thank you,” Agnes replied and smiled. “Lucky thing that you didn’t scroll up though.”
“Why, what was there?”
”Just something silly I wrote some time ago.”
”Tell me please.”
Agnes felt like biting her tongue of. If she’d tell Elin what she had wrote she would just think she was a stocker or something. Agnes still didn’t believe her dream had just come true, and she did not want to lose it.
“No, it was so stupid,”
“Please,” Elin looked her right in the eyes with that look that only she could do. “Please.”
“Well, the day before my birthday and I was making this secret wish list. The first thing on the list was that I didn’t want to have a party. Well that didn’t come true. I had a party I just snapped and said the only guest that was in it that she was retarded and I didn’t want to hang around her anymore.”
”What more, what more did you write?”
”That I wanted you to notice me, and fall in love with me,” Agnes blushed.
“Awww that’s so sweet. “ Elin smiled and gave Agnes a kiss.
Agnes kissed back but was yet surprised. She expected that Elin was the type of girl that would get freaked out if she’d hear something like that. “I guess I was wrong,” Agnes said to herself. She looked at the clock. “Shit I’ve got to go home. It’s two o’clock already. I promised I’d pick Oskar up from school an hour ago.” She stood quickly up and started looking for her shoes.
“Please don’t go,” Elin said.
“I have to,” Agnes smiled. “Maybe he heard already, but I’m gonna try to explain things for him.”
”Can’t I come with, please?”
“No, you should try telling your sister.”
”I don’t have to. I bet she heard it already.”
“Yes perhaps but I bet she would rather like to hear it from her own sister than from somebody else. Especially that bitch Camilla.”
“Maybe, but what am I going to say to her? Hi, I just found out I’m a homosexuals, so how was your day?”
”No, just tell her the truth, just don’t make it sound so I don’t know, like taken out of a dictionary.”
“Okay, bye. I’ll call you tonight.”
“Mean it this time.”
”Yeah, I promise.”
But as soon as Agnes closed the door, Elin started panicking. She started marching around the apartment, chewing her nails and even ripped a small hole on her pillow. Fortunately she was a bit calmer when Jessica came home, an hour later.
************
“Hi,” Elin said and tried to sound like nothing had happened.
Jessica didn’t answer, just stared at her with a look that Elin wasn’t quite sure what meant. Suddenly she attacked her. Elin screamed and fell off the bed.
“What do you think you’re doing? You fucking bitch! Are you trying to destroy me?” Jessica screamed and tried to hit Elin.
”Stop! Don’t! Can you please just listen?” Elin screamed back at her and tried to defend herself.
Jessica crabbed the pillow and started beating her. Under most circumstances pillow fight was a lot of fun, but not when a person is standing over you and trying to smash your head open with the pillow. Elin desperately tried defending herself but Jessica was angrier than ever and just kept on beating her.
“What’s wrong with you?” Elin screamed and tried to kick her.
In the end Elin hit Jessica in the head and she fell off screaming.
“You’re my sister. What happened to being there for me?” Elin said.
“I’m not on your side because you’re just screwing around. Two days ago it was Johan, last week it was that Bosnian guy and now it’s Agnes. What are you trying to do Elin? Go steady with anything that moves in this town?” Jessica asked and tried covering her nose that had just started bleeding.
“No I’m not. I’m not just screwing around this time. I really love her.” Elin said and stood up.
“Yeah, and you also loved Johan Hult. Don’t you remember? Last week.”
“No. No, I didn’t. I mean yes I do remember. But it wasn’t like that. Remember when you asked me who it was, and then you said that you saw that I was in love with him?”
”Yes I do.”
“And then you attacked me until I told you who it was, remember?”
”Yes, and I already said I was sorry. But then it was Johan Hult.”
“No I just said that to calm you down. I was really thinking about Agnes. I didn’t go to Johan’s place that night when I went from Christian’s party. I felt terribly because the way I had fooled around with Agnes and I went to apologize.”
“And... You didn’t spend the whole night saying “I’m sorry” did you.”
”No I didn’t. We tried to hitchhike to Stockholm and a car stopped for us and was going to take us to Karlstad.”
”And then what happened. Why aren’t you at Karlstad now if that’s what happened.”
”He, he threw us out because he caught us making out in the backseat.”
Jessica gasped.
“Then the next day I was going to call her, but then you came and I didn’t want you to know. I just lied about the thing with Johan so you wouldn’t think it was Markus.”
The two girls were quiet for a while. But in the end Jessica tried to say something. ”I’m sorry. I mean, I don’t like that fact you are, you know an erm…” Jessica was awkward.
“A lesbian,” Elin finished.
“Yes that,” Jessica said. “It’s just, I was really upset. Not only because everyone is telling me that my sister’s a head case. It’s that, I broke up with Markus. Or he broke up with me.”
Now it was Elins turn to gasp.
”Why?” Elin asked. “I mean I knew he was a jerk all along and everything, still you seemed so perfect together. And like you said, you and Markus together, you’re together because that’s the way things are. They just are like that.”
”Well not anymore I guess.”
************
“Agnes, is it true that you’re a lesbian?” Oskar asked Agnes while they were walking home.
“Where did you hear that?” Agnes had been preparing herself for this question all the way down to the school but still she found a bad feeling in her stomach. Walking out hand in hand with Elin in front of the entire school was okay, at least compared to this. Explaining for her little brother that she was a lesbian was a lot harder.
“Kalle told me, he said yesterday that he heard it, but today he said that his brother saw you walk out of the toilet with a girl. Is it true Agnes?” Oskar said and leaned his head, sounding kind of awkward.
“Well,” Agnes swallowed “Yes I am, and that thing that Kalle said. It’s also true. I did walk out of the toilet with Elin. “
“Why are you?” Oskar asked. “Why won’t you just kiss boys like the other girls?”
”Well Oskar,” while trying to explain things she was also trying to figure out the answer herself. “It, it’s just the way it is. You could just as well ask why girls love boys. There is no answer. Things are just like that.”
Oskar nodded his head, but still he seamed confused.
“But listen Oskar, you can’t tell mom anything about this, understand?” Agnes looked Oskar right in the eyes when she said this.
“Why not? Why shouldn’t I?” Oskar asked.
“Because I want to tell her about it myself. And I have to find a good timing for it.” Agnes answered.
“Why can’t you just tell her now?” Oskar asked. “It’s wrong to lie to people.”
”Maybe she’s in a bad mood right now. And I have to find a proper way to tell her. She’ll be shocked, just like you were when you find out, weren’t you?”
”No I wasn’t,” Oskar said. “At least until I found out what a lesbian is.”
“Well then you were shocked. And I have to find a time when I know she can react right. If I choose a bad timing she could get very mad and maybe say or do things that she doesn’t mean and is going to feel bad about later. And I don’t want that to happen. Right?”
“No we don’t” Oskar agreed.
************
Elin and Jessica sat in separate corners of their room. Both stared at the floor and didn’t know what to say to one another.
“Why? Why did you break up?” Elin finally asked.
“It’s complicated,” Jessica mumbled.
“Now you’re lying,” Elin said and smiled a little.
“How did you know?”
”Markus isn’t complicated. He’s open like a fucking book. You can nearly see what he thinks. And if it was something complicated he wouldn’t figure it out. So tell me the truth.”
”Well, Johan came to the school to talk to you…”
”When? I didn’t see him.”
“Would you let me finish talking?”
”Yeah, I’m sorry.”
”Thank you, and if you had let me finish talk before I would have answered you. You were in the bathroom with Agnes when he came. Everybody thought you were in there with a guy so Camilla told him that.”
“That bitch! Poor Johan. I wish he didn’t have to hear it that way. I wish I could have explained it to him.”
”Let me talk!”
”Sorry, sorry.”
”Anyway, Johan got really upset and ran out. I went out too, to comfort him. I told him that he shouldn’t worry about you and that he was too good for you.”
”Hey!”
”I just said that to comfort him. He was still very upset so I tried hugging him. Elin, you have no idea how much you hurt him. He was crying on my shoulder.”
”I do feel bad enough about that already. You don’t have to put salt in the wound.”
”That’s when Markus came…”
”What? What the hell was he doing in our school?”
”Okay, I’ll say this for the last time, let me finish talking or I won’t tell you this.”
”Okay, okay. I’m sorry. Please continue.”
“His class was over and he had started wondering where Johan was. Some guy from Johan’s class told him that Johan had gone over to our school to talk to you. Apparently Markus had something very important to tell him. So he came to our school to find Johan and found me hugging him. You know Markus. He jumps to conclusions very quickly and assumed that something was going on between me and Johan. He snapped and dumped me. I tried explaining things but he just ran away. Then I realized that I didn’t really want to explain anything. I realized Markus is a jerk. I should have realized that a long time ago. When he attacked that guy for only talking to me, when he said that girls were only good at looking pretty and many other times. But this time I finally realized. I don’t actually feel bad for being dumped. Not at all. He was good looking. And that’s the only positive thing I can say about Markus now.”
Elin was silenced. She had no idea what to say. She had always thought Jessica was a really shallow person. Since she was with Markus, who was shallower than the toddlers’ pool, Jessica had to be shallow too. But she had proved Elin wrong.
“Maybe we do have the same father after all,” Elin said very quietly.
“Lets clean this mess up,” Jessica said and stood up. “Or mom will snap when she comes home.”
”Okay,” Elin stood up too. “How is your nose?”
”Has been better but it will heal.”
************
Agnes was writing in her computer:
”Wednesday:
I can’t believe this. Elin does love me. Now I know she’s not playing any tricks because she was ready to confess it in front of the entire school. I guess I don’t need writing here anymore. I can tell her anything. Well at least most things. I even told her about my secret wish list and she didn’t snap. She thought it was okay. But I still think there are some things I shouldn’t tell her that I will keep on writing here.”
The phone rang and Agnes picked up. “Ahlberg.”
”Hi. It’s Elin.”
“Hi.”
”I was wondering. Could you meet me at the playground near my flat after about half an hour? I have something I must tell you.”
”Okay. How did Jessica take the news?”
”I’ll tell you after half an hour. Okay?”
”Okay. Bye.”
”Bye.”
************
Elin sat on a bench near the sandbox on the playground. She had no idea how long she had been waiting because she didn’t have a watch but she knew it was more than half an hour. At last it started to get dark and cold so she decided to go home. When she came home her mother was watching the lottery so it had to be 8’ o clock. That meant Elin had been waiting on that damn playground for almost two hours. She stormed into her room and madly grabbed the phone and dialed Agnes number.
“Ahlberg.” Someone said at the other end.
”Hi. Is Agnes home?”
“No she went out some time ago. You want me to take a message.”
“No. Thank you. Bye.”
Elin cursed and took a looked outside. She started chewing her nails that were already chewed down and had started to bleed.
”Fuck it Agnes! Where the hell are you?!?”
************
Elin was very irritated the next day at school. She stumped her feet on the floor, made her “annoyed” sound again and again and threw paper at her classmates. At last the class was over and Elin hurried to the lunch hall.
“You better have a good excuse Agnes,” she muttered and pushed the door open.
Agnes was sitting in the lunch hall, alone like usual. She didn’t seem very focused and didn’t even seem to notice when Elin walked in. Elin walked towards Agnes.
“Agnes,” Elin began but stopped when Agnes looked up.
Elin was shocked. She sat down and put her arm around Agnes.
”Agnes, what happened?” she asked nicely.
“I have something to tell you,” Agnes said and tried covering the black-eye and busted lip that she had on her pretty face.
Agnes wanted to cry. But she looked around and saw all the people from 10th, 9th and 8th class and decided she didn’t want to make a big scene in front of everyone. That would just observe attention and that was the last thing she wanted right now.
“Agnes, who did this to you?” Elin asked. “Did you tell your parents? If they did this to you I swear I’m going to kill them.”
“No it wasn’t them. And I haven’t told them,” Agnes said quietly. “And even if I had told them, they would have done no such thing.”
Then Elin suddenly remembered her anger. ”Why didn’t you show up yesterday? I waited for two hours.”
”Well, I was going to come. I was walking to the playground but then I ran into someone. It was Camilla. She said some things about me being a creep of nature and some other things but I ignored her. Then she started pushing me and I told her to leave me alone. She asked me what I was going to do if she didn’t stop and I didn’t answer. Then she said that I had ruined you, that I’ve turned you into something unnatural and disgusting and that I was going to suffer for it. She said that before you met me, you were cute, popular and normal. Now after you met me you were better off dead. That’s when I snapped. I slapped her, grabber her neckline and threw her against a wall that was near us.”
”So what did she do? Did she hit you?” Elin asked and felt the anger flowing inside of her. She was ready to kill Camilla for doing this to Agnes and saying those things.
“No. She just stood there with tears in her eyes. I guess she didn’t expect me fight back. She has stomped on me so many times before, like when she made fun of me because of the party I was forced to have and I just stood there and took it. Maybe she expected me to do that, like usual, just stand there and take everything that she says. But that’s over now. Everyone has been doing that for so long I can’t stand it anymore. I’m done with letting people getting away with stomping on me. So I decided I had nothing to lose and told her that if she’d ever say something like that or bother you I would do something bad. Something I would perhaps regret later, but none the less I would do it just to see her suffer. I don’t know why I said it but at least she got kind of scared. But then I realized that she wasn’t alone. Some guys had been standing behind her. I didn’t recognize them but I think they were at least a year or two older than I am. They started saying something about I shouldn’t have said what I’d just said and that I was in no position to say things like that. Then they started beating me. At first I tried to fight back but in the end I fell to the ground and just closed my eyes and wished they would stop. At last I blacked up and I didn’t wake up until it was dark. I went to the playground and hoped that you were still there but you weren’t. I went home and was thinking about calling you but then I realized that the clock was quarter to eleven so you were probably asleep already so I decided to tell you everything right now.”
Elin felt a tremendous remorse for being mad at Agnes. Of course she hadn’t ditched her last night. She would never do that. “I’m so sorry Agnes,” she said with tears in her eyes.
“Sorry for what?”
”When you didn’t show up yesterday I got really mad at you. I should have known you would never do any such thing on purpose.”
The lunch bell rang and the kids started walking back to their classroom.
“I’ll talk to you later. And I’m going to kill Camilla!” Elin said and stood up.
“No Elin,” Agnes said. “Don’t make decisions in such a rush. You’ll regret it later.”
But Elin had already run to her classroom.
“I wish she’d just listen,” Agnes said to herself and walked back to her classroom.
************
Elin rushed back to her classroom. Her mind was no longer flowing with anger. It was flowing with pure hate. She was going to get that whore and kill her. She looked into the classroom but Camilla was nowhere to be seen. She had probably skipped class. Elin ran outside. The teacher screamed something but she didn’t care. She knew where Camilla usually hung out and it wasn’t very far from the school. There she was, laughing with some older guys. It made Elin even madder, thinking about that maybe they were laughing at Agnes.
Elin approached Camilla. “You’re a fucking cunt! But you probably knew that already.” Elin said loudly so Camilla noticed here.
“How could you do this? You used to be my friend!” Elin wanted to throw Camilla to the ground and start kicking her but she knew that then the guys she was with would just beat her until she’d black out, like Agnes.
“I’m not you’re friend,” Camilla said and smiled. “And I never was. Do you know why everyone always hung around you? Because all the guys were crazy about you. And now since you’re a fucking dyke, nobody would ever want to hang around you!”
“Still haven’t answered my question, why did you do this to Agnes? What did she do? She has never done or said anything to offend you and you have always treated her like shit,” Elin felt like bursting into flames of anger where she stood, that’s how mad she was.
“I didn’t like you, but you were okay,” Camilla answered. “But Agnes infected you. She made you a fucking dyke. Even the beating was too good for her. She doesn’t deserve to live.”
“You’re so full of bullshit!” Elin screamed. “There’s nothing wrong with Agnes and you know it. We’re happy now. Can’t you just get over that and leave us alone!”
Elin turned around and started walking away when she suddenly heard one of the boys scream: “Agnes is and has always been a fucking freak show! Whatever she got, she deserved!”
Elin turned around. Now she no longer felt that she was bursting into flames. She WAS bursting into flames.
”You fucking javla-kuk bastard!” she screamed and tried hiding the tears that started filling her eyes. She used every curse word that she knew. She didn’t care if it was English, Swedish or anything else. He deserved that and much more. “I thought I knew you, you fucking snake tongued gutter worm! How could you do this? Don’t you have a fucking soul? How could you do this? I know you’re not exactly happy about what I’ve done and said for the last couple of days but how the hell could you do this to get revenge? I am going to kill you!”
And he said nothing; that little creep surprisingly just stood there and grinned. “You’re not worth it,” he said and turned away. “Let’s go guys.”
”Everyone is going to find out what you’ve done, and then they’ll hate you. But no one will ever hate you as much as I do!”
Elin screamed and ran away. She just wanted to get away. Get away from those stupid and ignorant people, racists and simply Åmal itself.
************
Elin and Agnes sat in Elins bed. Agnes seemed worried.
“Why did you go to find him?” Agnes said and seemed kind of mad. “I told you not to.”
”You can’t tell me what to do!” Elin said loudly. She calmed down. “I’m sorry. It’s just that so much has happened in the last couple of days and it’s pretty hard to handle it all.”
”I know,” Agnes said. “Trust me I know. I spent a year and a half stuck in this town, so alone. I always felt like turning away and going home but home was nowhere. But don’t try to get a revenge on Camilla and the guys she hangs around. She’s not worth it and you could get hurt. I’d die if that would happen.”
Elin combed Agnes’ hair behind her ear and stroke over her cheek. Here she herself was, acting like a fool and trying to start a fight with people she knew she couldn’t win. And next to here was Agnes. Always patient and ready to put up with every stupid thing she did. And so pretty. Elin moved closer. Her beauty was indescribable. She couldn’t say anything, had lost her voice. ‘I love you’ wasn’t enough. Not for her.
“What the hell are you doing?” Jessica screamed as she opened the door.
Agnes and Elin stopped kissing.
“I said I was okay for now with you two being together but that can change very fast if you unless you quit making out in MY room!”
“It’s my room as well,” Elin said madly. “And you sure didn’t mind me fucking Johan here in YOUR room!”
“That was different,” Jessica said.
“Maybe I should just go,” Agnes said who meanwhile had quietly reached for her jacket and headed for the door.
“No Agnes. Please don’t go,” Elin said. “This is not your fault.”
“You got some thing to solve,” Agnes said and opened the door. “I don’t want to be in the way.”
“Agnes, please!” Elin said and followed her. “You can’t just leave.” She grabbed her arm.
“Look, it’s important that you’ll make peace with your sister. And with me here it’s less possibility that it will happen. So I’m just going to go. I’ll call you tonight, okay? This is going to be okay. I’m sure of that.”
“I hope so,” Elin mumbled.
Agnes kissed her, whispered “goodbye” and closed the door.
Elin walked back into her room. Jessica sat there with empty eyes.
“Uncomfortable,” Elin said.
“You’re the one making it so fucking uncomfortable,” Jessica said madly. “Do you have any idea how much trouble you’re getting yourself into with this? Do you think you have any future with her? Or any girl anyway?”
“Yeah, you go ahead and talk about future in relationships,” Elin said.
“What do you mean?”
Elin couldn’t hold it any longer:
”I mean your jerk off of a ex boyfriend beat my girlfriend for ruining me! What do you think about that?!”