I can't help laughing, because...

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Re: I can't help laughing, because...

Postby fish » Sun Dec 11, 2011 9:39 am

DMt. wrote:...When I was working, on an NHS IT helpdesk, I used to joke with my clients that computers had been sent by the Devil, to drive us all insane. But it stopped being funny after a while... :evil:

I don't know who sent them, but computers are our friends. They're here to help. :shock: :T :r :lol:

DMt wrote:...Like I say, she's kind of an inconclusive character; we can see that Agnes and her Dad have a better relationship, but which way she'd jump in a fit/shan scenario is up for grabs, I reckons...

Fair comment. That describes Karin pretty well. :|

DMt wrote:...Let's see if they'll whisper anything into my shell-like ear today...or maybe I should play hard-to-get for a while...

Good luck. *:)*
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Re: I can't help laughing, because...

Postby Ian » Sun Dec 11, 2011 9:44 am

Have you thought about posting it on fan-fiction.net, Dave?
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Re: I can't help laughing, because...

Postby DMt. » Sun Dec 11, 2011 10:17 am

I'm a bit snobby about fanfiction.net, TBH :oops: - the standard there is not very high, I find.

If it doesn't expire at the last hurdle [I started another, pre-school, bit last night which I quickly deleted :shock: :oops: :cry: ], and if it's deemed worthy, I'd like to put it up here on the main site as a freebie for all other infatuées...?
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Re: I can't help laughing, because...

Postby DMt. » Sun Dec 11, 2011 11:50 am

*

"Ahlberg."

"Can I speak to Agnes, please? Sorry to be calling so late..." Agnes, sleepily climbing out of bed, grabs the phone in her room, breaking into the line and immediately recognising the voice.

"Elin, hello. It's OK, Mama, thanks..." Karin hangs up, an eyebrow raised meaningfully at Olof, but says nothing. He shrugs, and smiles.

"I'm sorry, I just had to speak to you."

"I was thinking about you, too. Just for a change. What's the matter, Elin? You sound a bit - "

"Malin called me. She said that Camilla had them all looking for us last night, for hours on end, that she was being a bit... weird."

"She's always being a bit weird, isn't she?"

"Not like this. Malin said her Mama said denial makes people crazy."

Agnes remembers Mariefred. [Oh, God, not again, please...]

"It's true. Remember I said that people can get nasty?"

"Yes..."

"In Mariefred there was a girl, we were friends; she was always hugging me and holding hands and so on, I thought we were close...we were at a sleepover, a bit drunk, and I wanted to kiss her; somebody saw us and made a big fuss, and she just turned on me, said I was creepy and disgusting and all this stuff, and after that they wouldn't speak to me, but they wouldn't leave me alone, either. Notes and graffiti and mean tricks...it went on and on. She was the worst of them."

"Ugh."

"Yes. I really don't like Camilla, she's so cruel, I never understood why you put up with her."

"I always felt a bit sorry for her, she can't open her mouth without getting on someone's nerves; I'm not sure she means to, every time, you know? And she could be quite pretty, but she always has this weird hair and makeup, and no eyebrows..."

"...and she really likes you?"

"I suppose, yes; she's just one of the girls, you know, she came here when we were about nine, she had it a bit rough in primary school, some people were nasty about her being Finnish."

"So you took her under your wing?"

"...yeah. If you want to put it that way, yeah."

"You're sweet, Elin. But I think you might find that she goes...like that girl I was talking about."

"Hmm. Malin's Mama said I should watch my back, too."

"How?...with a periscope, maybe?"

Both girls get the giggles. After a while Agnes says, "We'll watch each other's backs. I feel like I can deal with anything as long as I have you. Like you said, they just wish they had what we have...they wish they were us."

“I'm so glad we are...us.”

“So am I, precious one.”

“Good night, Agnes. I love you, too.”

“See you in the morning. Come early.”

“I will. I wish I was there now.”

“We have to hang up...”

“Noooo! I'm gonna come and climb in your window!”

“Promises, promises...”

“OK. 'Bye...”

“'Bye, love.”



Last edited by DMt. on Sun Dec 11, 2011 7:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: I can't help laughing, because...

Postby katka » Sun Dec 11, 2011 1:56 pm

It really is very detailed, what you write. :D Almost I'm sorry that so many things are not detailed in the actual film, including outtakes. :cry: I wonder even the other proposals Lukas's scenarios (I think it says that there are a total of 9 ? :T ) Maybe in the book are all ways done what he thought. :roll: Anyway, Dave...you forcing me again to read all about it on the web. :wink: Yesterday I was looking at the comments about FA in the last month on largest Czechoslovak Film Database. And it is still highly rated by people in our country *:)* even if they have problem with it that after scene O'Boy it could still continue. :)P They are sorry that it ends so soon. I know that it was from Lukas intention to finish it all at the moment when it finally put into motion, but I personally would like the movie also added at least another 7 to 10 minutes. :roll:
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Re: I can't help laughing, because...

Postby DMt. » Sun Dec 11, 2011 5:11 pm

I'm beginning to realise why he didn't! :shock:

How the hell do I get them to a happy ending, through a vengeful anti-dyke, a [presumably] disapproving school system, and a bunch of homophobic teenage morons? *:|*

I suppose the thing to do is just jump in at the deep end, but...I'm scared... :cry:

Thanks anyway, though, you have been very supportive 8)
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Re: I can't help laughing, because...

Postby DMt. » Sun Dec 11, 2011 6:22 pm

Looking on the bright side, there seems every possibility of attaining a whole 300 views in a week [ie before 7:40pm GMT tomorrow], especially if I keep writing crap like this instead of grasping the nettle... :?
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Re: I can't help laughing, because...

Postby DMt. » Sun Dec 11, 2011 8:19 pm

*

Camilla is having trouble getting to sleep. She has gone quickly to her room after getting home; she does not want to, she can't, eat, or speak to anyone. Her parents and older sister and brother are already stupid drunk in front of the TV anyway, they hardly register her presence. She has slunk in, behind the slumped forms in the sofa and chairs, mumbled the perfunctory greeting exchanges, gone upstairs, washed off the smeared mascara, stolen two of her mother's sleeping-pills, and gone to bed; but sleep will not come, and now the pills make her feel sick and woozy into the bargain.

She is tormented by the image of Agnes and Elin, smiling and waving in the window; it is surely unfair that they are so happy, when she, Camilla, is so miserable. But they are beautiful... But she hates Agnes, the sullen little shit... But Elin loves her, she has shown it in front of the whole school, shut them all up in mid-hoot, walked off holding Agnes' hand... But that's so like Elin, isn't it, to take on the whole school, and face them down... But it's wrong that Elin loves another girl, that's sick... Isn't it? Everyone says it is...don't they? But why does it hurt her, Camilla, so much? Why does she even care?

Camilla twists and writhes in her bed, her clenched fists bang on her temples. Stop it, stop it, stop it... The stupid, banal noises of the loud TV downstairs, its canned applause, cheers, and incidental music, the jabbering of the adverts, are another layer of torture. She wonders if two more pills would give her the oblivion she craves, but the current dose feels so horrible that she does not want to try it. She has a stolen half-bottle of vodka under the mattress; perhaps that, on top of the pills, will knock her out.

She gets up, finds her Walkman and her favourite Callas compilation, digs out the vodka and takes a couple of mean slugs, and shoves the bottle under her pillow. She gets back into bed and lies down, the cheap, raw spirit burning in her shrinking stomach, and now chewing on her liver...she turns off the lamp, there is only a little light from the streetlamps in the room now, to her blurred eyes it looks huge, like she is sleeping in a dark cathedral.

She starts the music; by a malign trick of fate it is "Vissi D'Arte", the harrowing Verdi complaint to God into which Callas pours her supreme art and tortured life, and in seconds she is sobbing, the blankets bunched to her face so that no-one will hear and make fun of her. It is almost unbearable, but it is Callas' suffering, not hers, and in some strange way this is a partial relief from her own confusion, rage, sorrow and bitterness. She hardly hears the rest; she is limp and trembling, the Walkman resting on her chest. Slowly, the wracked sobbing subsides, she pushes away the wet bedding, feels for the bottle, and takes another huge gulp.

Soon the bed is revolving, the rest of the music is only a noise in her ears, she is clutching the sides of the mattress, hoping she will not puke; but at least she is no longer seeing the two smiling, beautiful girls in the window frame, holding hands in the love from which she is forever excluded, and at last she gladly sinks into the whirling dark.


Last edited by DMt. on Mon Dec 12, 2011 1:28 am, edited 6 times in total.
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Re: I can't help laughing, because...

Postby snaps » Sun Dec 11, 2011 9:15 pm

Stop it! :)

You are almost making me feel sorry for Camilla (never thought that would happen! :lol: )

The ''stolen half-bottle of vodka under the mattress'' I see as very Camilla. The "Vissi D'Arte" doesn't quite do it for me as an example of metaphorical musical dissension. I always had her down as pure bubblegum pop. Perhaps, maybe she would have heard Verdi's ''Requiem'' as sampled in Water Lilies. This makes her out towards being almost half-way intelligent.

Perhaps as musical allusion something ''Sibelius'' ? the great Finnish composer who was actually, ethnically Swedish? You know more about these things than I do.

I like it, what you have wroted, :wink: and I find it pleasing in a surrealistic sense. The Brechtian ''V'' effect of alienation. But these are high-level literary and artistic concepts you are trading in. It just seems a bit at variance with your previous, well-observed, takes on the intellectually mundane but emotionally complex lives of these characters.

I hope you don't mind this crit. :( :wink: 'tis not of you but the expectations of audience.

I have been totally shredded before, for writing a libretto to go with the 'Adagio in C minor ' written from the POV of a young vamp.

All power to yer elbow. This elevates fanfic to a new level :D
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Re: I can't help laughing, because...

Postby DMt. » Sun Dec 11, 2011 9:44 pm

snaps wrote:Stop it! :)


Stop what? O-)

snapsie wrote:You are almost making me feel sorry for Camilla (never thought that would happen! :lol: )


What? Whaddaya MEEEAN, 'almost'? :evil:

schnapps wrote:The ''stolen half-bottle of vodka under the mattress'' I see as very Camilla.


Thank you, Ma'am... 8)

snappo wrote:The "Vissi D'Arte" doesn't quite do it for me as an example of metaphorical musical dissension. I always had her down as pure bubblegum pop. Perhaps, maybe she would have heard Verdi's ''Requiem'' as sampled in Water Lilies. This makes her out towards being almost half-way intelligent.


Never underestimate your enemies, snappy-babe. Camilla is smart, make no mistake about it. But she 's SO fucked up, I despair of her...and 'Vissi d'Arte' will do it, for anybody with any remnant of a soul. That doesn't mean she doesn't like bubblegum pop, too, she is only 14, after all.

synapse wrote:Perhaps as musical allusion something ''Sibelius'' ? the great Finnish composer who was actually, ethnically Swedish? You know more about these things than I do.


Ummm...if Camilla tells me she's listening to Callas, then that's what she's listening to, OK? I don't argue with my Muse, I do what I'm told. Mess around with Her, and She goes away... :cry: I am not joking about this, I'm deadly serious.

synapsie wrote:I like it, what you have wroted, :wink: and I find it pleasing in a surrealistic sense. The Brechtian ''V'' effect of alienation.


Er, what? Please expound. Sounds like something I should know about!

snapper wrote: But these are high-level literary and artistic concepts you are trading in. It just seems a bit at variance with your previous, well-observed, takes on the intellectually mundane but emotionally complex lives of these characters.

I hope you don't mind this crit. :( :wink:


I hate and fear all criticism, but I'm forced to admit that sometimes it's necessary. I would prefer unstinting adulation, of course, who wouldn't...

Also, if Agnes can dig Albinoni, why can't Camilla dig Callas?

snappie wrote:'tis not of you but the expectations of audience.


Second-guessing people's reactions is a mug's game, sweetie; all that should matter to an artist is being true to themselves and their Muse. This is why I look with [reluctant] disfavour on your writing-to-order experiments at WtI...

schhhnapsie wrote:I have been totally shredded before, for writing a libretto to go with the 'Adagio in C minor ' written from the POV of a young vamp.


I would like to see this. I'm prepared to bet, in advance, that the shredders are all full of shit. Show me [us], and I'll give you a totally impartial, objective assessment. O-)

"Fuck 'em all, squares on both sides; I'm the only complete man in the industry" - W.S. Burroughs

La Snappeuse wrote:All power to yer elbow. This elevates fanfic to a new level :D


Oh, well...that's all right, then. 8) Mwah mwah mwah!
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Re: I can't help laughing, because...

Postby fish » Mon Dec 12, 2011 8:09 am

I can't stand it.
Snapsie's crawling like she's never done before, :shock:
and to top it all, I'm feeling so sad about Camilla, :( :cry:
all I want to do is give her a hug. :shock: :T

Either Camilla or Snaps, I have no pride. :W :P :lol:
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Re: I can't help laughing, because...

Postby Ian » Mon Dec 12, 2011 9:56 am

I think Camilla might be a bit... f****d up. :P
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Re: I can't help laughing, because...

Postby DMt. » Mon Dec 12, 2011 10:44 am

*

Elin, freshly showered and dressed, is hurrying towards the bridge to Agnes', bright and early at 7am. She has given only a little extra thought to her ensemble and makeup today. It feels important not to make too many concessions to convention, yet she is thinking of Agnes' welfare as well as her own, so she has passed over the lowest-cut tops and the brightest lipstick, and is only minimally made up. She is thinking, again, of how she and Agnes kissed as they came together, over and over, at each others' touch; how amazing it was, and totally different to doing it yourself, how beautiful Agnes was, in her arms. She is only a little concerned about school; what can they do to them, after all? Make fun? Silly girls and clumsy boys? They know what they can do...

Agnes has also awoken early; she too has slept unusually well and deeply, and today she does not feel like any sort of weirdo, depressed outsider or freak, but like a woman; an adult, sexual being, who is both deeply loved and loving. This is reflected in her parents', and even little Oskar's, interactions with her, there is an element of wonder and new respect, and perhaps also, on her parents' side, a certain nostalgia. She is already showered, dressed, and packed for school, but is holding off breakfast as yet, in the hope that Elin will want something when she arrives. She is a little more uneasy than Elin about their reception at school, but like her, finds the matter fairly trivial compared with their love. She cannot wait for her to arrive.

Elin was asleep when Jessica came home, it must have been fairly late; but she is sure that her sister stroked her head, gently, before getting into bed herself. She has only groaned, however, at the early alarm this morning, and gone back to sleep as Elin re-set it another hour. Mama Birgitta was also asleep, she is still on evening shift; she has left breakfast for her girls, but Elin has only taken a glass of chocolate milk and a slice of toast, she is in a hurry to get to Agnes.

Olof is bustling around, getting ready to depart for work, happy at his daughter's new radiance; a rather less ebullient, but still cheery Karin is organising a sleepy Oskar's clothes and breakfast. He is sitting quietly in his sister's lap, in his nightshirt, nibbling a biscuit as she holds and dandles him gently; they are looking out of the kitchen window together, down the road in the bright morning, for Elin to arrive.

"Elin is your girlfriend now?", he has said, and Agnes has agreed that this is so. His only other comment has been that he will probably have a girlfriend too, someday, and Agnes and Karin have both agreed, with a smile, that this is quite likely. Olof kisses them all and leaves for work, Karin takes Oskar back upstairs to dress, having laid a generous table, and Agnes decides she will go out to meet Elin, wait for her at the bridge so she does not have to knock at the house.

They arrive at either end of the bridge simultaneously, wave at each other, and hurry to meet and embrace in the middle. Then they stroll back towards the house arm in arm, taking their time, Agnes explaining that Mama will shortly be taking Oskar off to infant school, and that she has made breakfast for them. Elin asks, a little uneasily, how her parents are, 'about...all this', and Agnes says they are supportive.

"My Mama doesn't know yet", says Elin, "at least, I don't think so. I hope she hears about it from me, first."

"That's probably best, yes", says Agnes, "maybe we can both tell her after school?"

"I think I want to tell her myself, you know", says Elin thoughtfully, "it's a big deal for parents, isn't it?"

"It's a big deal for all of us", says Agnes with a smile, "but whatever you think best." They have already agreed, last night, that they will go into school together, present a united front rather than sidle in separately, and Agnes takes comfort from Malin's comments, and Elin's confident assumption that her other friends will be generally on-side, though with the evident exception of Camilla.

The name casts a slight shadow on their happiness, but Elin says, "I'm just going to treat her the same as always. If she wants to get nasty, she can; it won't make any difference about anything. I'll tell her to stick it, if she pushes it too far..."

"If she is jealous, whether she knows it or not”, says Agnes thoughtfully, “she'll be hurting, a lot, won't she? I think we can afford to be as kind as she'll let us be; maybe she'll come around."

"We'll see", smiles Elin. I love you so much. Karin and Oskar wave and beep from the car, as they reach the top of the road, and they wave and smile back. "I hope you're hungry", says Agnes, "Mama put out loads of stuff. Have you eaten already?"

"Um, sort of", says Elin, "I just wanted to get to you, really."

"Yes", says Agnes, "me too. But now I'm starving, let's go in on a good breakfast."

They have the house to themselves for perhaps three-quarters of an hour; they go in at the back kitchen door, Elin goggles at the spread Karin has laid out, and they both fall to with a will.


Last edited by DMt. on Mon Dec 12, 2011 3:31 pm, edited 5 times in total.
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Re: I can't help laughing, because...

Postby DMt. » Mon Dec 12, 2011 10:51 am

fish wrote:I can't stand it.


Oh, good! :lol:

fish wrote:Snapsie's crawling like she's never done before, :shock:


Snaps na crawl fe anybody, mon.

fish wrote:and to top it all, I'm feeling so sad about Camilla, :( :cry:
all I want to do is give her a hug. :shock: :T


How will it go, when she comes in? I still don't know... :shock:

fish wrote:Either Camilla or Snaps, I have no pride. :W :P :lol:


Pride comes a very poor second to hugs, i feel. 8)
Last edited by DMt. on Tue Dec 13, 2011 12:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: I can't help laughing, because...

Postby DMt. » Mon Dec 12, 2011 10:55 am

Ian wrote:I think Camilla might be a bit... f****d up. :P


I think there may well be a strong case to be made for this assertion, yes. :T
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