love... and such

[Anny]

hi! i haven't been here for a long time but now i have to write here 'cause i have a problem (anyway i think so...)

maybe a year ago there was a boy in my class and i thought he loved me so i started loving him too... (that was strange because we didn't even talk a word to each other!) a few months later he went to australia for a year and i finished school now so i can't see him anymore... i wrote him a letter (about 30 pages) but i think he didn't get it (fate...) then in winter i thought i was over him but now i found out that i'm not... the problem is that i didn't tell him how i feel (i'm even not sure if i want to be together with him...) it hurts allthough i say to me that i feel nothing for him... but i can't just go to him and tell him the trueth i would surely die!! :unsure:

anyway... maybe you could write in here what happened to you? i think we could help each other...

[arkz1531]

I don't think my story will actually help you but I'll tell it anyway. Two years ago I met this boy in my class and I became friends with him really fast. Soon I realized I loved him but I didn't know if he was gay or bi. Then last year, I was going to tell him how I really felt about him, but all of a sudden I noticed that he hadn't been in school for a whole week. I then heard that something had happened to him and I asked one of his close friends what was wrong with him. And that was when I found out that he had been diagnosed with leukemia. Therefore, he would not be coming back to school that year and possibly the next year(2005). So I was really sad for him and I couldn't believe that he was the only person in my whole school that had been diagnosed with cancer. Since last year and the beginning of this year I was going to visit him at the hospitle but I never got around to it because I wasn't even sure what hospitle he was in. Over that time I thought I was over him until a couple months ago when I realized that I wasn't completely over him yet. I saw him at a hockey game for the first time in about a year. But he's not coming back to school and he moved somewhere I don't even know about. So it would be almost impossible for me to let him know how I feel about him now. And if he had never gotten cancer he would have know about how I felt a year ago. But he'll probably never know now.
But maybe one day I'll get to tell him.